I have been posting for a long time now, I think since May, about how my portion sizes have been reducing progressively and so drastically that I got worried. At the end of July things turned to the worst: not only was I not able to eat, but one morning the cramps to the mouth of my stomach were being caused even by a sip of water.
That morning I took a Zoton, the fast acting gastroprotector I still had left since my post-surgery weeks. It worked within the hour. I eventually could finish my water and my cup of tea. And that morning I called the team. The clinical director agreed with me immediately that I may have an ulcer, and signed me up on the first available slot for a gastroscopy she could find. Zoton twice daily, prescribed immediately, helped a lot during these fifteen days and I have been eating increasingly more. Boy, I even managed 110gr of steak!
Support
I couldn’t do any of this without my family and friends.
Jeebus! You hear this thrown around a lot, in most cases by people who don’t likely mean it, and in all cases I did not understand what that meant.
A friend on the phone yesterday morning, a long chat about the both of us, and her intelligent, meaningful ear to what was happening, not that I intended to spill the beans, but that’s how it is with her, I always do.
Another friend showed up at my place an hour afterwards to catch up and bring me to the Clinic. Precious friendship, always there. Brought me home from the previous gastroscopy, brought me home after surgery, with her nice smile and cuddly eyes.
And yet another friend who took time off work to collect me yesterday from the Clinic and bring me home. Matter of fact, no bullshit kind of guy, I just love him.
The ulcer
And here it is, the ugly ulcer into the jejunial limb, right passed the suture (anastomosis) between the stomach and the Jeujenium. Looking at the picture, no wonder I was feeling so bad!
Prognosis and therapy
It should begin to heal very well soon, so much so that I’m booked for a checkup gastroscopy in two months already.
Provided that….
I take the gastroprotector (esomeprazole) twice a day right now for 6 weeks, then once a day for the following 6 (and then we’ll see)
I stop smoking (this is the big deal, the main cause of the ulcer and the biggest challenge for me)
I limit my drinking (but we’re in Ireland, so thankfully I am not asked to give it up! 😜)
I limit my coffee, and if possible drink decaf
I avoid deep fried food (which is easy: as a bariatric patient I don’t eat deep fried food ever, for fear of dumping and because it’s a bomb of calories)
Stop smoking, you said?
Yeah, this is a big deal on so many levels. Smoking since surgery has acquired new meaning, it’s also now my companion during those boring half hours before and after meals when I cannot drink.
In addition, of course, to be my companion and pleasure all the time.
You see, I just love it! Honestly, I love the feeling, the sensation, the taste. Am bad, aren’t I?
Ok, I don’t love the cost, of course. I am spending a fortune on cigarettes, here in Ireland the price is astronomical. I am currently smoking 50 cigs per day, you do the maths.
However, I do remember the feeling of freedom as a non smoker: you could go anywhere and know that you weren’t confined to stay outside (pub, restaurant, theater, whatever) in order to light up and enjoy yourself.
How?
In the past, and even recently (I had stopped in Jan 2021, just to start stupidly again in Oct 2021), l read the Allen book (the famous “The easy way to stop smoking”), which worked like magic two times, then nicotine patches and similar stuff, which worked last year. Once I even used acupuncture, which worked, and hypnotherapy, which didn’t.
This time? I don’t know. I think I’ll simply try to set my mind to it and just quit, willpower and all that. I still have every intention of smoking one or two “happy smokes” in the evenings, or at least socially. The tobacco there might keep me hooked though… we’ll see. I might have to quit it altogether, bummer!
The fear
Every single time I quit smoking I gained weight. And now???
Now I’ll find out the hard way if I will be able to continue to lose weight while stopping smoking.
The only thing that will help will be my food diary. I’m sticking to it like a German, following the rules to the letter, using all devices at hand to log everything (the power of the cloud indeed comes in handy).
I cannot risk to gain weight.
I cannot risk not continuing to lose weight.
I think I’ll drink a lot, I’ll become like a fish! Will aim for 2 lt of water every day, in addition to my tea, coffee, etc.
When?
No idea. Theoretically I should do this now. In practice I need to get ready, prepare myself. Yes, some of you will think it’s a procrastinator’s excuse, and maybe it is, but that’s ok. I need time to make big changes in my life. I need to get ready. And this is a big change.
1 week’s time? 2 weeks? I just don’t know. One of these days I’ll get downstairs and will move my laptop back onto my office desk and that will be it (I only smoke in the kitchen, so I self ostracised myself from the office in October last year).
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