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I'm so annoyed with myself!

I really cannot believe it, another week went by and another week of sheer laziness - I did not put my nose out the door, not even once!


So exercise was again a concept foreign to me. At this point I will lose all my muscle mass in a flash! I am really, really so fed up. Keep beating myself up for it - and yet I’m sitting on my comfy office chair writing this post instead of going out.

Want my ridiculous excuses? Here I go:
  • Early morning: I started a body/face skin routine (essential, to try and reduce stretch marks and render the skin more elastic, hoping it’ll bounce back during the weight loss). This takes a good 40 minutes, and it’s already an effort waking up so much earlier; no way I’m waking up even earlier for a morning walk!

  • Lunchtime: I got to work! Then I need to eat something obviously, then I need to take a power nap (the lack of sleep has gotten out of control entirely).

  • Evening: I finish work late (need to catch US colleagues all the time, on the Pacific coast so good luck with finishing early!). By the time I finish it’s already 7 or 8pm, and I need to start cooking in order not to eat later than 9, which is already too late.

  • Night time: after dinner? Are you joking?? Even eating so incredibly little as I am doing, I feel so full that I cannot move. Plus of course I’m dying to chat with my boyfriend (after 26 years together we still enjoy long, long chats!), or I find something good to watch on Netflix (finally!). Alternatively I’m so exhausted I am in bed at 9:30 or 10.

  • The next day: rinse and repeat!

  • Saturday: in the morning I just really don’t feel like it; in the afternoon my cleaner comes over, and I don’t like leaving her alone (my boyfriend needs a rest after dialysis so she would be roaming about); in the evening, see routine above.

  • Sunday: what’s the point in going out just one day a week? I just don’t bother.

What could change?

Early morning: get a sleeper from my doctor and manage a full night's sleep (rather than waking up every 2 hours and staying up 1 hour each time): at that point I would feel rested enough to wake up a full hour earlier and squeeze in at least 20 mins walk.

Lunchtime: stopping work on time, and going for even a short walk before lunch. I could still squeeze in a (shorter) power nap.

Evening: nada, I cannot think of a change there.

Saturday: assuming I am not waiting for deliveries, get off my a*s and go for a decent walk mid-morning. Failing that, there is always the evening after the cleaner has gone.

Sunday: plenty of reasons to go out! Just get out and do it!

I’m expecting a bollocking!

This Wednesday I’m due for a complete check-up, so I’ll see my surgeon, dietitian, and the physiotherapist. Oh they’ll all give out! I am tempted to lie and if asked (well, *when* asked) say I do walk my daily 30 minutes. However, yes, I know, I definitely shouldn't lie about this. I would not put them in the condition of not having the full picture.


Let’s see what I get up to next week. Ah, btw, I lost 1.5kg since last week, and, aside from the huge sleeping problem, food continues to be an issue, although I could manage some turkey.

That’s it.





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